Sequoia Tree: The irony of aging gracefully
Do we stop becoming beautiful when we pass the age of 45?
45 is still relatively young but a lot of us wouldn’t know by looking at the internet. We are living in a society that is beauty-obsessed and youth is a signifier of beauty. This is why Black Women are praised for looking 40 years old at 60. Although the scientific benefits of melanin are something to marvel at the bigger issue is the conversation we’re not having.
What space do we hold for women who look their age? Why do we place undue pressure on older women to retain a youthful exuberance instead of praising them for getting to that age in the first place?
I recently saw a post of a beautiful fit woman and when I read the caption I learned that she was 70 years old (Chef Babette). Everything seemed so tight on her, not a wrinkle in sight and all of the comments were praising her. There were even suggestions that if you “eat right” and “exercise” that you can maintain this appearance forever.
Crows feet, wrinkles, and face dropping is apart of life, it’s a biological inevitable. My mother started to grey when she turned 30 and she was insecure about the grey patch in the front of her head for many years. 20 years later, she dyes her hair burgundy and although those greys shine in between dyes she’s become more comfortable.
I didn’t understand her insecurity when I was a high school teenager but as a late 20 something with more life experience, I am starting to gain more insight into her anxiety. One thing I can say is that beauty culture has shifted because 15 years ago it wasn’t the cool thing to be grey and now it’s edgy if a young woman has a grey wig or braids.
However, there’s a paradox within that cultural shift because it’s fine to BE grey as long as you don’t LOOK grey. This is why a 70-year-old woman can be regarded as “fine as hell” as long as her face and body don’t look her age. It’s a mess and I can’t imagine the anxiety that older women face when they become “over the hill”.
It’s not only facial beauty though. We expect older women to compete with younger women by staying similarly fashionable. Once you can no longer be universally attractive (Think: Nicole Murphy, Lisa Raye, Mary J Blige) to all ages of men, you’re in trouble. Fatphobia is intensified because older women are pressured to modify their diets and exercise regimens to extreme measures to be able to keep up.
I’m not at all saying that nurturing our bodies with movement and real food isn’t something to aspire to. However, the competitive notion of it all is looming. Isn’t ironic how men are celebrated for embracing salt and pepper beards but women are teased for getting plastic surgery (Vivica A Foxx) and socializing in youthful circles (Larsa Pippen, Karlie Redd)?
I say all of that to say this:
No one stays young forever and there should be zero pressure to strive to. Yes, the more rings around a sequoia tree the older it is. But it’s better to celebrate that the tree has stood the test of time instead of fading away like a fairweather crop. After all, aesthetic is just politics anyway.
